Reality Check: Forced Sterilization in Kenya

Image courtesy of Unsplash

In celebration of World Aids Day on 1st December, we remember the voices of those forced into silence.

“The sterilization ruined my life”

Selina, a victim.

Forced sterilization may be a foreign concept to some, but this is a practice that has been exercised since time immemorial. 

In its early form, it strived to prevent the spread of ”toxic” genetic traits, such as mental illnesses, albinism and blindness.

Popular instances of this exercise are during the Rwandan genocide. During this period, Tutsi women were mutilated to prevent them from having children to end the future of the Tutsi population.

Recently, this atrocity has widened its reach to women living with HIV/AIDS in rural areas.

These stories seldom make headlines in mainstream media, making it all the more enthralling.

But, what is forced sterilization? The United Nations Human Rights Committee refers to it as the sterilization of women without their consent. This aims to prevent women from having future pregnancies, therefore stripping them of their natural right to be mothers.

As a matter of fact, this exercise is deemed as a violation of the internationally recognized right to be free from torture and degrading treatment.

Just as ordinary women do, women living with HIV/AIDS have the right to a family planning method of their choice and right to bear children.

So, we need to realize that these women are humans too, thus, are entitled to these intrinsic rights. 

Coercion and Victimization

At face value, this practice is a violation of human dignity, above all.

Kenyan victim testimonies bear one common fact- coercion.

“While I was groaning in pain, the doctor looked at my file and said to me, ‘Woman you are still giving birth and you are HIV positive?”

Alice, a victim.

In Kenya, it is illegal to test someone for HIV/AIDS without their free and informed consent. Victims of sterilization often visit the hospital to give birth or for check-ups, but end up on operation tables for their tubes to be cut without notice. 

Into the bargain, these women are coerced into signing consent forms during childbirth. Oftentimes, this is done by shaming the woman for having HIV/AIDS or any other defect, such as blindness.

Consent given under such circumstances is invalid, as it is given in an unsound state of mind and obtained under duress.

HIV/AIDS is commonly referred to as an abomination. However, does this mean that people living with this virus no longer have human dignity?

When can we be stripped of our human dignity?

The answer is- never. Famous philosopher, Emmanuel Kant, affirms that dignity is inviolable and cannot be denied even a vicious man. Hence, as we are all born with human dignity, so do we die with this dignity. 

Additionally, no human is born with more dignity compared to another.

“I cannot discipline my children, when I try to, he tells me I have a rotten stomach.”

Purity, a victim.

As a result of this treatment, seclusion from ordinary life follows. Victims are robbed of ordinary life- their marriages fall apart, families disown them and, in severe cases, they are ostracized from their communities.

Kenyan law

In 2012, the ”Robbed of Choice” report sparked outrage in the country, calling for reform of human rights laws that affect women.

“This is really painful because I have seen women who are HIV positive get healthy children while I am not able to.”

Lucy, a victim.

The Constitution of Kenya (2010), assures Kenyans of human dignity, the right to health of the highest attainable standards and exemption from degrading treatment. Nevertheless, this appears to have no effect on the current sterilization practices in marginalized areas.

Then, why is forced sterilization still a matter of concern years after this famous report? As of 2018, 1.6 million Kenyans are living with HIV/AIDS, indicating that sterilization is far from the solution to this epidemic.

To protect further incidences of human rights violations against women in this country, restrictive laws on pregnancy need to be re-evaluated. This should be done to protect women’s dignity and reproductive rights, to strengthen the family as a unit, rather than tearing it apart.

What are your thoughts on forced sterilization in the Kenyan society?

-By Author and Owner of The Sapiosexual Roundtable Blog;

Maria Angela.

Rape as a Weapon in Kenya: What You Need to Know

Women and young girls are often claimed as spoils of war. This is obvious from all the movies we’ve seen, beginning with the popular, ”Tears of the Sun” starring Bruce Willis. In this movie, we witness Rwandan women being victims of brutal torture, rape and sexual slavery. But what can we take away from such narratives?

That crimes of a sexual nature are prevalent in times of war and civil unrest.

The International Criminal Court Statute recognizes rape as a war crime and a crime against humanity. Unfortunately, this happened in 2002, whereas rape and sexual slavery have been the norm during wars, ever since the American Revolution and even before.

These atrocities have scarred billions of people, both nationally and internationally for years on end. The major instance in Kenya where acts of sexual violence prevailed in 2007. It is in need of dissection, as it managed to capture international attention.

2007 Post-Election Violence in Kenya

We have read about the events that transpired in 2007 in Kenya. More often than not, what comes to mind are testimonies of looting, tribal-based killings and kidnappings.

There are few, brave writers who dared to include rape into their articles and books. This is in the hope that the victims would finally be heard. Years down the line, the women, men and children who were victims of sexual violence during the 2007-2008 period are still waiting for justice to be served.

”I have problems sleeping. Sometimes I can go to bed at 10 p.m., be up at 11:30 p.m., and not fall asleep again. I doze off a lot during the day. I think about the rape, my financial problems, and the death of my husband [in the violence]. I was running a clothes boutique business in Nakuru and I had good money. But now I have become a beggar. Sometimes I don’t have food. I don’t have any help from my family. ”

Apiyo, P., Rape Victim, 2007 Kenya Post-Election Violence.

As captured by the Human Rights Watch, Apiyo, P. is one of the numerous victims of sexual violence during this period. Her courageous testimony sheds some light on what the other victims could be potentially going through.

Her tear-jerking testimony makes us wonder why sexual violence is indeed a common predicament during times of civil unrest. In fact, there is not much to gain from it, other than to instill fear. It is an utter display of superiority complex by those who wish to be declared the victors. That is to say, in this case, they may have not gotten the desired results out of the civil unrest, but they got to establish their dominion over the weak.

”Data from Nairobi Women’s Hospital show that more than 600 women were treated within the first 72 hours of their attack. 80% of the victims had been raped, approximately half of whom were children. Victim studies show widespread incidents of rape, gang rape, and forced pregnancy.”

Open Justice Initiative.

What happened next? Due to lack of evidence, the Director of Public Prosecutions was unable to proceed with these cases. So, in effect, a fund of 10 billion Kenyan Shillings for these victims was established by President Uhuru Kenyatta in 2015 to be used for restorative justice as recommended by the Truth, Justice and Reconciliation Commission report. It is still not clear whether this has been implemented.

Into the bargain, the Commission of Inquiry into the Post-Election Violence (CIPEV) was established. They gave several recommendations with regards to police reforms and the formation of a special tribunal. Unfortunately, this was defeated in the Kenyan parliament and never came to be.

As it is well, known this instance eventually led to the prosecution of four Kenyans in the International Criminal Court for crimes against humanity, which included rape and sexual violence. However, these charges only concerned the rape incidences in Nakuru and Naivasha. Conversely, it is well known that these incidences occurred nationwide.

No further redress has been offered to these victims who continue to suffer in silence. This has led to them speaking publicly and sharing their stories in the hope that something more can be done.

I just sit and wait to die.

Fatma W., Rape Victim 2007 Kenya Post-Election Violence.

Restorative justice?

Today, rape accusation are ordinarily dismissed by leaders and politicians. This has always been the trend and continues to be. It appears to be one of the major reasons why the crime is so prevalent in society.

Rape is viewed as a mar on the stories victors. Wiped almost completely clean from popular history books and texts.

The disregard for human dignity and lack of respect for human rights is so commonplace, that not even the Kenyan judicial system appears to be able to handle it.

”Responding to reports of widespread rape of women refugees in camps in North Eastern Kenya, the Kenyan government has denied that the rapes are occurring or has blamed the victims. One Kenyan official stated that the rape allegations were made solely to “attract sympathy and give the government negative publicity.”

Thomas, Dorothy Q. and Regan E. Ralph, ”Rape in War: Challenging the Tradition of Impunity.”

This is where restorative justice comes in. But what is restorative justice?

According to Carolyn Boyes-Watson, it is a growing social movement to institutionalize peaceful approaches to problem-solving and violations of legal and human rights. This usually involves the participation of the victim, perpetrator and all parties directly affected by the crime. This may include the family members of the victim and members of the community.

Together these parties aim at finding a solution. This solution is geared towards repairing, reconciling and rebuilding social relationships.

An example closer to home is the Truth and Reconciliation Commission, as well as, the Gacaca courts in Rwanda. These involved the perpetrators openly testifying to the crime and admitting fault, thereafter giving an apology to the victim and the family.

In this setting, the victim and his/her family are given a chance to speak on how the crimes have affected their lives. In the end, a penalty is agreed upon by the parties. This may be incarceration, as well as maintaining a relationship with the victim’s family, among many other solutions.

Popular documentaries such as, ‘‘Long Night’s Journey Into Day” illustrate how these perpetrators would face the Commission cold-heartedly and in the end, burst into tears of regret.

In countries such as New Zealand, the restorative justice program can be run alongside the judicial process. This means that social relationships are repaired while a criminal trial is ongoing. These merge when it comes to the penalty phase of the trial. This approach appears to be favoured by some policymakers especially where there is an honest admission of guilt to the crime.

Restorative justice has been proven to lead to the recidivism of offences, increased satisfaction, and overall reducing crime rates. Could this be a better model of reform, in that it provides speedy results and gives the victims a sense of justice?

Is it safe to say that our society becomes ”better” in the hands of restorative justice?

As a country, Kenya has a long way to go, not only with the reform of our laws on sexual violence but also with regards to the judicial and prison systems.

What are your thoughts on rape as a weapon in times of civil unrest. In your view, what is the best way to go about it.

-By Author and Owner of the Sapiosexual Roundtable;

Maria Angela.

To Be or Not to Be: Post-Graduation Life

Here we go, a topic that is definitely taboo. I say ‘taboo’ because graduates rarely open up about their post-grad situations or experiences, in the fear that they might appear to be doing much less than others.

Fact: There is no rule book on how to live life.

I know I have been away for a while, but the issues I raise in this particular article are the reasons why. (Definitely not because of my troubling writer’s block). Post-graduation life is one of the most confusing stages, mostly because all the memes you see on Instagram about ‘post-grads’ now begin to resonate with you.

The phrase ‘post-grad’ is one we hear more often than not. I never thought it was a big deal, but after you graduate, you are basically thrown into the deepest and furthest end of the ocean. You may say ‘Yeah, sure, but I know how to swim.’ This is where I add, that there are sharks, piranhas and all-kinds of ‘graduate-eating’ creatures in there as well.

By writing this, it is my aim to tell you the truth about post-grad life and how to cope with the process.

  1. You will be happy to be done with school.

Everybody already knows this one. You will be overjoyed to have completed your studies. It will feel like a breathe of fresh air, as graduation marks the beginning of a new chapter in your life. Something to look forward to is the break that comes right after graduation. (Just before the hunger games begin). Embrace this moment and celebrate yourself. Graduating is actually a major achievement and you should be super proud of yourself. Staple your degree certificate to your forehead if you must, because yeah, you did that.

2. Put yourself out there more.

Being in the Kenyan educational system, we are so used to moving to the next stage and expecting nothing less. At a younger age, we do not even see the importance of club activities, sports or language classes. All we want to do is pass our exams, and get on with the next, because that’s what we have been conditioned to do. Regurgitate material in exams today, and forget about it tomorrow.

At the end of it all, we become robots with all this knowledge and without any other skills to contribute to our personal growth. Use the short break during your post-grad to travel, learn a new language, do some volunteer work or develop your talents further. This helps build your character, mind and resilience, plus it makes a hell of a conversation starter during a job interview. Today, the job market is very competitive. All the job interviews I have gone to so far begin with a question about extra-curricular activities. Basically, anyone can get a degree, but what makes you stand out from the others?

3. ‘Why so serious?’

Talking to post-grad students makes you feel the need to prepare for a never-ending apocalyptic journey. But wait…It’s never that serious. You will come across loads of friends, family and acquaintances who will be quick to ask you, ‘So what next after graduation?‘ (Trust me you will get this a lot). The truth is, there is no right or wrong answer to this question. So do not overthink it. This brings me to my next point.

4. Mental health matters.

Comparison is the thief of joy.

Theodore Roosevelt.

You will end up being so consumed by thoughts of what your former classmates are doing and comparing yourself to them. Doing this will always make you feel that you are not doing good enough. In fact, you will think everything you are doing is worthless. All this overthinking can lead to the worst kind of anxiety you will ever experience. I never fully realized this, until after I decided to take a break from social media and took the time to really think about what career path I want to take. Breathe in and take each day at a time. There is no need to compare. We all have different goals and different plans. Everyone else’s life is completely different from yours. What are your long term goals and what can you do each day to contribute to achieving them? Write them down. This makes the days go by faster in a more productive way.

5. Well, this is a bit awkward.

Honestly, this is the most awkward stage I have ever been in so far. The average graduate is around 22 to 24 years, which is the age group where I currently fall under. You want to party all the time and do extravagant things, but then it suddenly gets awkward, because now you have a bank account and you have to pay taxes. On top of all this, your parents give you the deadly side eye every day asking when you are going to get a job and start paying the rent. Sometimes your grandparents chime in and ask to meet your boyfriend and when you are getting kids. (Slow down there, grandma). Basically, after graduation, life hands you the invisible ‘Welcome to adulting life’ certificate as well. Most of you will not be sure of what you want to do or where you are meant to be, and that is completely okay. Not everyone will admit it, but they are struggling with this on the inside. You will grow into it and everything will begin to make sense bit by bit.

I promise you, that once you learn to take each day as it comes, it gets easier. Get a planner to help you focus on the now and how to get to where you want to be in a couple of days, weeks or even years. We are all trying to figure this out. Talking about your journey openly with friends really helps. What are your post-grad experiences and do you have any tips? Let me know down in the comments.

-By Author and Owner of the Sapiosexual Roundtable;

Maria Angela.

Rest in Peace Jane Doe

“Women face an uphill battle, from sexism and violence to inequality. In some areas, they are forced to deal with a culture that promotes primitive practices that endanger them, not just physically, but emotionally as well.”

Hagir Elsheikh.

What is of great interest to me, is that we all speak up against this barbarity. Maybe you know what I speak of, or maybe you have no clue at all.

Popular news blog, News 24, promptly reported that-

‘According to the State, on the day of her disappearance, she had gone to enquire about a parcel, but the electricity at the post office had been off. She was told to return later. When she did, she was allegedly sexually accosted. She fought back but her attacker knocked her out, using a scale. According to the State, the man confessed to the crime. A number of people started sobbing in the courtroom and they could still be heard crying in the corridors after proceedings adjourned.’

Who, then, is this ‘she’ constantly being referred to here? Well, it really could be any of us…but her name is Uyinene Mrwetyana, a recent murder and sexual violence victim in South Africa. May her soul rest in peace. Not only does her story sound like several I have heard and read of before; but also, it reminds me of this new pandemic that appears to grow and spread ever so quickly and swiftly from within the cracks of society.

Femicide in Kenya

“I wish we’d be able to deliver our message at the global level on the need to recognize the past genocides in order to prevent new ones. Our message of peace and justice will hopefully reach every corner of the world.”

Widad Akreyi.

I now introduce a new word to you to add to your vocabulary list- ‘Femicide.’ This is otherwise known as a gender-based hate crime term, broadly defined as the intentional killing of females (because they are females). Is this really a word? Is this really a thing?

I am sure we all heard about university student, Ivy Wangechi, who was killed by a man she knew a few days before her 25th birthday. Shortly after, a popular local radio station ran a segment mocking her death. Three days after Ivy’s murder, Peninah Wangechi, 30, was rushed to hospital after she was stabbed 17 times by her husband who had repeatedly threatened to kill her. The police are investigating both incidents, but there is little faith that the cases will lead to justice thanks to Kenya’s dismal record of punishing these types of crimes. This timeline of murders involving women as compiled by Audrey Wabwire of Human Rights Watch says it all. This makes me wonder how many victims suffer in silence, and their cases never make it to the news stations or newspapers…the real stories that are too unbearable to put out to the public. Reality is- those stories exist and the victims feel trapped and alone, fearing for their lives.

According to 2017 statistics by the United Nations Office on Drugs and Crime (UNODC), 87,000 women were intentionally killed globally, compared to the 2012 recorded estimate of 48,000 women. To add salt to injury, Kenya ranked among countries with high cases of female homicide in 2018. Even though men are the principal victims of homicide globally, women continue to bear the heaviest burden of lethal victimization as a result of gender stereotypes and inequality.

Types of Femicide

According to the World Health Organization (WHO), violence against women comprises a wide range of acts – from verbal harassment and other forms of emotional abuse, to daily physical or sexual abuse. At the far end of the spectrum is femicide: the murder of a woman. In a detailed paper, WHO elaborates the types of Femicide;

a) Intimate Femicide– Femicide committed by a current or former husband or boyfriend.

b) Murders in the name of ‘honour’– ‘Honour’-related murders involve a girl or woman being killed by a male or female family member for an actual or assumed sexual or behavioural transgression, including adultery, sexual intercourse or pregnancy outside marriage – or even for being raped.

c) Dowry-related femicide– Another form of murder of women linked to cultural practices is related to dowry. It occurs primarily in areas of the Indian subcontinent, and involves newly married women being killed by in-laws over conflicts related to dowry, such as bringing insufficient dowry to the family .

d) Non-intimate femicide- Femicide committed by someone without an intimate relationship with the victim is known as non-intimate femicide, and femicide involving sexual aggression is sometimes referred to as sexual femicide. Such killings can be random, but there are disturbing examples of systematic murders of women, particularly in Latin America.

The chances are that you, dear reader, know a victim whose story fits into either one or more of these categories. This goes to prove that the statistics reported by international and even national organizations may reflect an even lesser number than what should be.

Who is Jane Doe?

I particularly use Jane Doe to dedicate this article to all victims of femicide, gender based violence or sexual crimes. My heart bleeds for you all.

Current victims of gender based violence and sexual crimes- you are not alone and I hope this gives you the courage to walk away or report your incidents with haste. Friends and companions of victims- female or not- you have a duty to speak up and promote justice. From the definitions and types of femicide, it is clear that these acts are not only perpetrated by men, but also by fellow women.

Each of us is a potential Jane Doe, and I will not hide the fears that I face every day as a woman, who walks alone for most of her days looking over her shoulder making sure that I am not followed on my way home or to work.

“Women should be angry about the violence and fear that inform so much of our lives. So should men.”

Soraya Chemaly.

Create awareness- It is not just about using of hashtags to appear intellectual among your peers or up-to date with the latest social gossip. Read and educate yourself so you can also educate your peers further on what gender based violence is and its different forms. This will help you identify gender based crimes in the different forms they manifest themselves.

Do not take the backseat- I find it quite mesmerizing when a woman is being sexually harassed and others sit back and blatantly add ‘Boys will be boys.’ Indeed, boys will be boys, but true men and women stand up and speak out against such negative attitudes and treatment. Your voice could save the next victim’s life.

Attend training sessions and workshops– I honestly do admire organizations and companies that strive to incorporate gender workshops into their work training programs. Not only this, but enforcing and implementing sexual harassment policies in the workplace and even educational institutions. By attending such training sessions and workshops, one gains the understanding of their role in curbing gender based violence and crimes.

Report cases of gender based violence or sexual crimes- It is well known in criminal law that 48 hours after the crime has been committed, it becomes difficult for evidence to be collected and for perpetrators to be apprehended. Once you suspect you have been raped, sexually or physically abused, do not hesitate to report to a gender recovery hospital or center and report the matter. For example, the Gender Based Violence Recovery Center. This makes it easier to facilitate justice, collect evidence and build a strong case. I know it is easier said than done, but this is the most effective way to ensure justice is done. Go with a friend or family member for support and assistance.

Let me know down in the comments if you know a victim of femicide/gender based violence. What is your advice to them?

-By Author and Owner of The Sapiosexual Roundtable Blog;

Maria Angela.

How to Stop ''The Itch''

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I currently feel (and know) that many of you need to see this article in particular. How do I know this? This is the new daily challenge that we all face, knowingly or unknowingly.

When I wake up in the morning, I feel my fingers ‘itch’ after I dismiss the alarm on my phone. An ‘itch’ to roll over and open my Instagram, check my new likes, open the explore page and begin aimlessly scrolling…and scrolling…and scrolling. When I am at a party and sit around people I just met, I have ‘the itch’ once more. I want to take out my phone and just stare at it. Not that I will be looking at anything meaningful, but I want an escape for my mind and to pass time while these strangers chatter away, instead of trying to get to know them.

What Is ‘the Itch’?

I have had conversations with my peers about ‘the itch’ more than once. Of course, they did not refer to it explicitly as ‘the itch,’ but rather as an urge. ‘The itch’ can therefore, be best described as the urge to constantly check social media. I was once part of a panel in 2018, during the Strathmore University Mental Health Awareness Week, speaking on the link between social media and mental health among the youth today. I recently found the notebook where I jotted down some facts from that day and I believe they would be meaningful to share on this platform as well.

Social media sites are said to be used by about a third of the entire world. These sites and apps inadvertently have an effect on the brain, which is similar to drug addiction. This is because Dopamine (also known as, the ‘feel good’ chemical in the body) is released when we use social media, more so when we talk about ourselves and brag of achievements online. This is the case because you have an audience (followers) watching you. I think it is safe to say I developed this ‘itch’ from the booming Facebook era, and this affected various areas of my life. I began to feel like my own enemy, because the more I scrolled, the more I saw things that I did not have. I really did not understand how life works. I would slowly feel social media’s invisible hand pushing me to have the kind of lifestyle that I saw online- the girl that only goes to expensive restaurants, the girl that has the best body, the girl that has all the money in the world. I know I am not the only one that went through this. You are probably reading this and nodding your head- but wait, there’s more.

People spend so much time living on social media to fulfill this ‘itch.’ An ‘itch’ that has caused many to be cyber bullied, fall into anxiety, depression, eating disorders and even taking their own lives- because they are not deemed ‘worthy’ or ‘perfect enough’ by the social media audience.

Instagram has ruined a whole generations expectations of relationships, work and everything in between. It has made ‘perfect’ look normal. So now ‘good’ has become disposable.

Steven Bartlett.

It’s Not Worth Your Time

Is it worthy to focus on what others want you to be? I battled with myself for a long time trying to find the answer to this question, when it was right before my eyes. If you do not know the answer yet, let me tell it to you. No, you do not have to live a life that you do not love just to please others. It really is that simple.

I have to admit that the human brain is too complicated sometimes to process even the simplest of notions. Rhonda Byrne, author of ‘The Power’, opens her book with the statement, ‘You are meant to have an amazing life!’ Indeed, you are meant to be happy, and live life on your own terms. The internal monologue that we uncontrollably have while scrolling through social media only damages you (your mind, your attitude, your health). It clouds your judgement and hinders you from seeing your true purpose, and makes you want to mimic what you see online. Not only that, but you feel the pressure to live a picture perfect life because you are constantly being watched and judged by your followers. For how long will you let the thoughts and opinions of others govern the directions you take in life? Do not let it ever get that far, it is not worth it.

Be Present- Live in the Now

We all know that one person who is super chatty online, but in person, is basically a part of the furniture. I realized that over-use (excessive and negative use) of social media leads to decline of proper social skills. People can rarely hold meaningful conversations today. This is evident in those moments when a conversation goes cold, we sigh loudly, pull our phone out of our pocket and open Instagram (ah, there’s ‘the itch’ again). Today, we can rarely make friends with people that we meet in person, but we are so quick to hit the ‘Follow’ button on a person with an attractive profile picture and send a message thereafter saying ‘Hae’. It is no wonder that Nev Schulman, Ariel Schulman and Max Joseph have gained international notoriety for their famous MTV show ‘Catfish’.

Put your phone down, and take your environment in. Talk to new people in real life and go to new places for your pleasure and on your own terms. Do not go to places out of forced financial constraint to please your social media audience. Above all, spend real time with family and friends.

No Pressure

Again, I know I am not the only one that feels the pressure to own 16 Ferraris, open 3 businesses, travel to Santorini every 2 weeks and have a mansion before the age of 23- just because my brain resolved that I need to be successful at a young age just like everyone I see on Instagram. FALSE. We live, we learn and we make mistakes. As the wise Gary Vaynerchuck once said, ‘I’m not trying to be cool, I’m trying to be happy.’ (You felt that quote in your soul, didn’t you? I know you did).

Nobody posts their business failures, their financial struggles or relationship difficulties online. Everyone posts what is know as ‘Highlight Reels’. Only the best makes it to their profiles, nothing less.

There is no need to feel unnecessary pressure. I battle with this everyday, especially being a recent graduate- I want to scale up the ladder faster and earn millions without struggling, I want money now. We all secretly battle with this, but we have to remind ourselves that everything is a process. To achieve a bigger goal, you must first set smaller goals that will lead you towards it. Forge your own path and walk it proudly. Celebrate small achievements, because they cumulatively lead to big achievements. Be yourself. I also advise only following social media accounts of your friends, family and people that inspire/motivate you towards being better.

Battling ‘the itch’ is a continuous and daily process of being mindful of your thoughts and actions, otherwise, your mind wanders. We are all in control of what we feed our minds and what we think about. Focus on what is better for you and your goals. I assure you everything will be okay. (Secretly speaking to myself with that statement).

Control ‘the itch’, and you control your mind and your life.

Let me know down in the comments about your battle or experience with ‘the itch.’

-By Author and Owner of the Sapiosexual Roundtable;

Maria Angela.

As far as self-confidence goes, so much of social media is about approval, getting likes, comparing our lives to others’ – meanwhile, confidence is an inside job: it’s about how you feel about yourself regardless of what anyone else does or thinks. It’s a knowing that you’re human, you’re flawed, and you’re awesome in your own way.

Jen Sincero, Author and Success Coach.